Is it better to have loved and lost?

So I figured if I am going to comment on other people's blogs, I should give them a place to come back and comment on me as well.

I just read a eulogy for Rebbetzin Rennert, who was killed in a horrible car accident last week. I just have no words to describe the renewed feelings of loss inspired by this eulogy.

When I think about what my family has lost this past year, yet at the same time all we have gained, I begin to wonder if it is worth it. I sat at lunch today with a coworker who is blessed with four boys. He told me about his life as a single person and how depressed he was. He went on to say that if he could do it all again he wouldnt, though sometimes he wishes he had the same freedom to just get up and go and that he had taken more advantage of that freedom back them.

Is it worth it to be tied to something that can be gone in a second? Is it worth it to love only to know that one day you will lose it? Yes, a famous line you can come back at me with is "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all". I wish I knew if that was true. I had a mother in law. My husband had a mother. My son had a grandmother. Was it better to have loved her and known her only to lose her or would it have been better to never have known her at all if I knew I would feel such pain and sorrow at random times.

I try to be strong for my husband but who can be strong for me. As I write this I can hardly see my monitor through the tears in my eyes. On a day like today when it rains, I feel the skies crying with me. I think in the world of blog is the best place to be. Because you can love and lose and never feel the same kind of pain.