I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
OK, new rules, same old blog. From now on, due to some infestations of unwanted comments, I will be moderating my blog. This means that while I can freely post a blog, if you post comments I have to approve them before they go up. There shouldn't be too much of a delay in posting comments, however dont be surprised if yours doesnt go up if it is totally unhelpful and nasty.
Life has been interesting in the house of Norm. My husband has begun medications which have left him both VERY tired and more mellow. I have come to the realization that he is not the sole reason for my wanting to leave the life I currently lead. No, indeed, I am the reason I want out. Allow me to explain.
I dont like the way my life is going and I want to make changes. My husband thinks that if he is not the reason that I want to leave then I shouldnt leave. Simple as that. He also feels that if I feel this way then maybe I need to be on meds as well. The therapist agrees. Let's see what the psychiatrist says on Monday.
I know my husband feels threatened. But this morning he hugs me and tells me "it will be alright" like I am some dimwitted suicidal maniac and I need to be treated with kid gloves and then blows up when I ask him why he thinks I need therapy. In case you were wondering, here is his answer: "Because you are showing signs of depression. Feelings of being overwhelmed, feeling the need to 'escape'." My response? "Everyone feels that way. But a depressed person who feels that way stops all activity. Shuts down. I am not shutting down."
It is not so simple though. Mainly because I havent figured it all out yet! If I do take medications though, I think that the most they will do is to make me more focused (though personally I think I am focused).
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you are spinning in a circle with a thousand things all around you and you dont know where to turn? I feel that way. If the meds will do anything they will help point me in the direction to turn. I dont think they will stop me from feeling like I need to find out what it is about me that is dissatisfied.
My husband doesnt understand why I am not happy. I dont understand either. I know there is a reason though. I guess part of me feels unfulfilled. How do I feel unfulfilled, you ask? I dont know. It is just a sense I have about things.
Something I can not put into words.
Life has been interesting in the house of Norm. My husband has begun medications which have left him both VERY tired and more mellow. I have come to the realization that he is not the sole reason for my wanting to leave the life I currently lead. No, indeed, I am the reason I want out. Allow me to explain.
I dont like the way my life is going and I want to make changes. My husband thinks that if he is not the reason that I want to leave then I shouldnt leave. Simple as that. He also feels that if I feel this way then maybe I need to be on meds as well. The therapist agrees. Let's see what the psychiatrist says on Monday.
I know my husband feels threatened. But this morning he hugs me and tells me "it will be alright" like I am some dimwitted suicidal maniac and I need to be treated with kid gloves and then blows up when I ask him why he thinks I need therapy. In case you were wondering, here is his answer: "Because you are showing signs of depression. Feelings of being overwhelmed, feeling the need to 'escape'." My response? "Everyone feels that way. But a depressed person who feels that way stops all activity. Shuts down. I am not shutting down."
It is not so simple though. Mainly because I havent figured it all out yet! If I do take medications though, I think that the most they will do is to make me more focused (though personally I think I am focused).
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you are spinning in a circle with a thousand things all around you and you dont know where to turn? I feel that way. If the meds will do anything they will help point me in the direction to turn. I dont think they will stop me from feeling like I need to find out what it is about me that is dissatisfied.
My husband doesnt understand why I am not happy. I dont understand either. I know there is a reason though. I guess part of me feels unfulfilled. How do I feel unfulfilled, you ask? I dont know. It is just a sense I have about things.
Something I can not put into words.
posted by energynorm at
1:43 PM
4 Comments:
welcome back! it's nice to see your lovely words around the blog-fire once more. well, to give you a short answer to a long question, cosmically your state of mind now, won't mean much when it is all settled down ;)
By
Mishegasmaster, at 8:30 PM
you know, for the past however long it's been since you stopped posting, i kept checking your blog, thinking maybe you'd be back, and today, i was all prepared to just email you a quick "hello." so just so you know, i'm really glad you're back.
a good friend of mine was getting really overwhelmed the year before she got married, and her dr. put her on anti-depressants and she said it worked wonders. now she's at the point where her doctor decreased the dosagae and so she's slowly coming off them. regardless, she thinks that they really helped and hopefully won't need them at this point. anyway, my point is that if they work for you, then great, and if they don't, well, that's fine too. do what's best for you and your mental health and be honest in your self-assessments and you'll get through this.
(((hugs))) and welcome back.
By
bec, at 7:28 PM
mishegas, I cant believe I am saying this, but I think what you said actually makes sense. :)
New blog coming soon! Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome back.
Bec, I missed you too!
By
energynorm, at 1:32 PM
wow! i am flattered... :)
By
Mishegasmaster, at 6:59 PM
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