The honeymoon is over...

So I delayed writing this blog for many reasons, I guess the main one being that I was just too lazy to type it all out.

On Sunday, my husband and I went to our first therapy session together. Couple’s therapy is what they call it. I can’t say I felt anything productive from it because I really do admit and know that I have such a wall up that nothing really gets past it. The only time I felt “bad” was when the therapist asked me to name a time when I felt my husband did something that made me fall more in love with him or something he did that was special etc. and I couldn’t come up with anything. Well, that isn’t really true. I did come up with stuff but everything had a negative attached to it so it was hard to see past the negative and kind of neutralize and isolate the positive for the purposes of inspection and reflection. (How’s that for a fancy sentence?) Anyway, after the therapy session we moseyed on to a whole bunch of errands and in general the day was fine. No major snappitude (a new term I coined which combines snappiness and attitude) except for the time I accidentally ran into my husband’s foot with the shopping cart and he gave me one of those “if looks could kill” kind of looks.

Monday was laundry night because one of the chores I didn’t get done on Sunday was the laundry. So on Monday night I did 4 loads of laundry and my husband made the pizza. I had gone out to get a package at the post office and on the way back stopped and got the fixin’s for a pizza. Crust, sauce and cheese. So since I hadn’t put them away and I went and did the laundry, he decided to make the pizza. Very nice of him. I agree. Then he went and got the laundry from the dryers when they were done. Again, very nice! So I said to myself (anyone who is an Emeril fan will now say to themselves “SELF!”), tomorrow night is mikveh night (again) and so I will make it special. Especially since I know my husband thinks I haven’t been physically affectionate lately.

Fast forward to yesterday. During the day, as well, I sent to my husband a text message which was rather suggestive, just to get him in the mood. I decided I would hop over to the mall and get some accessories to make mikveh night more special. Naturally, for the sake of modesty yadda yadda, I won’t go into too much detail. I will say though that I bought a candle, lotion and some new lingerie. As I left the apartment to head out on my errand and to go to the mikveh, my husband asked me if the secret errand I had to run would require him not to eat fleishigs for dinner. I said no, but I asked my husband to be ready when I came home, which would be around 10 pm. Not an unreasonable thing to ask for and usually I don’t because, as you know if you read my blog, he never is ready (ready only means he is showered!) Well, he wasn’t ready this time either. Whatever, I should learn my lesson and not ask. All that aside, needless to say, what I bought worked and the night was enjoyed by all. So, I figured that that would set the tone for the days to come.

Today is the day that prompted this blog. My husband and I had an appointment at the bank to discuss if we want to do any changes, investments etc. It wasn’t what I would call a productive meeting, though I don’t think it was a total waste of time. After, my husband and I decided we wanted to go get something to eat before we go back to work. I thought, this is nice, a rare time I can have a quick lunch with my husband without our son around. Just a relaxing moment in the day. So we went to one restaurant which had a very long line and we didn’t want to wait. So we walked to the next one a half block away, same story, long line. So we walked to restaurant number three. A pizza place, which means that the food is fast and predictable, right? I walk in with my husband following behind me and I basically walked past the food at first because it was crowded and I wanted to approach the counter a different way.

He starts tapping at my arm asking “Where are you going? What are you doing?” in an angry way.

I said “What are you talking about? Why are you talking to me that way? I just wanted to get away from the crowd! Turn around and go see what you want to order.”

So we both walked back to the counter and I ordered eggplant pizza (YUMMMM! It was so good! With breaded fried eggplant… but I digress.) Anyway, he couldn’t decide what to order because there were no prices listed on the back board where the food is listed.

So I asked for a menu for him, which he stood and looked at for a few minutes before deciding “I just can’t eat here. There is nothing here I want. Forget it. I will just sit and wait for you to eat and I will eat something else somewhere.”

So ANGRY! I couldn’t believe my ears!

I asked him “Where did this aggression just come from? It makes no sense. Why are you like this all of a sudden?”

He said “I just feel like it was a total waste of time. They didn’t answer our questions. It was just stupid.” I thought to myself three things: 1) It wasn’t a waste because in theory he could be happy he got to see me for an hour and a half and 2) If they didn’t answer his questions, why the f*&! didn’t he ask them to CLARIFY. He is a lawyer for goodness sake! If he can’t get answers out of them, what does he do in his job? 3) Why was he letting that ruin our lunch together?

Anyway, I decided I can’t deal with that and so I just chose not to talk to him when we got on the train to get back to our offices. Let him figure out how to act like a person. I can bet one thing though. I can pretty much promise that he will NOT and has NEVER taken the frustration he felt from a client or opposing lawyer out on his coworkers like he took it out on me. AND I can pretty much bet he never even let it show to them.