My Sister
My sister is coming to us for Shabbos.
My OTHER sister, the one my husband doesn't get along with at all.
There have been incidents in the past where my sister wasn't so nice to my husband, and that, combined with the fact that she has the ability to be really annoying anyway (though a bit better now that she is on her Prozac), means it will be a very hard Shabbos for me. I will be sitting there on pins and needles, just WAITING for my sister to say something that will be considered mean by my husband.
So it turns out that this past Sunday, when my husband went to therapy, that he spoke to the therapist about my sister. He got to that topic by way of talking about my family and how instead of being confrontational, we prefer to just let things slide. He feels that I treat my sisters like they are princesses and I tiptoe around them for fear of upsetting them. He doesn't understand the dynamics of siblings, especially sisters. It isn't because he doesn't HAVE a sibling, it is more that he was raised in SUCH a dysfunctional family that family behavior is just foreign to him. So because of that he doesn't get the fact that while I realize my sister's behavior isn't nice (though I refuse to go so far as to say she is being purposely mean), I can't confront her about it unless I know she is in the right mood to be confronted. In the past, I have told my husband not to confront my sister, but rather to tell me what is going on and I will talk to her when the time is right. Since that isn't an acceptable timeline for him, he told the therapist that if my sister says anything he deems to be mean, that he will confront her. The therapist recommended against that and suggested that he talk with me about a game plan. So we came up with that he will tell me when he feels she is being mean to him and if I can't talk to her in his time schedule, I guess he will have to confront her.
G-d help me to get through this weekend.
My OTHER sister, the one my husband doesn't get along with at all.
There have been incidents in the past where my sister wasn't so nice to my husband, and that, combined with the fact that she has the ability to be really annoying anyway (though a bit better now that she is on her Prozac), means it will be a very hard Shabbos for me. I will be sitting there on pins and needles, just WAITING for my sister to say something that will be considered mean by my husband.
So it turns out that this past Sunday, when my husband went to therapy, that he spoke to the therapist about my sister. He got to that topic by way of talking about my family and how instead of being confrontational, we prefer to just let things slide. He feels that I treat my sisters like they are princesses and I tiptoe around them for fear of upsetting them. He doesn't understand the dynamics of siblings, especially sisters. It isn't because he doesn't HAVE a sibling, it is more that he was raised in SUCH a dysfunctional family that family behavior is just foreign to him. So because of that he doesn't get the fact that while I realize my sister's behavior isn't nice (though I refuse to go so far as to say she is being purposely mean), I can't confront her about it unless I know she is in the right mood to be confronted. In the past, I have told my husband not to confront my sister, but rather to tell me what is going on and I will talk to her when the time is right. Since that isn't an acceptable timeline for him, he told the therapist that if my sister says anything he deems to be mean, that he will confront her. The therapist recommended against that and suggested that he talk with me about a game plan. So we came up with that he will tell me when he feels she is being mean to him and if I can't talk to her in his time schedule, I guess he will have to confront her.
G-d help me to get through this weekend.
posted by energynorm at
1:26 PM
5 Comments:
your situation is getting more clearer to me by the day
it seems like that your husband feels that he isnt the #1 person in your life and on your mind
this causes alot of problems
By
Y.Y., at 6:58 PM
y.y, how on earth does it seem that way to you?
By
energynorm, at 8:02 PM
Good luck.
By
Anonymous, at 10:09 PM
he feels like you put your family first
By
Y.Y., at 5:19 AM
y.y., unfortunately, you make judgement calls without having actually read my entire blog. If you had, you would see he puts his family (namely his father) before me. I dont put my family first, I simply am protective of them. I will give you another example since you are definitely reading the situation wrong. Read my blog from today and you will see.
By
energynorm, at 9:19 AM
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