I give up
This will be another long one, but those who care about me and care to have me know their opinion please read it and comment :)
Yesterday, as many of you had read, my coworker was unable to take me home. When I called him about coming over, he said he would have a meeting at 5:30 with his boss and it was to last an hour. He said he would find out if it could be made earlier. By 5 pm, when I needed to go pick up my son, I hadnt heard from my husband so I assumed he wasnt able to make the meeting earlier. By 5:15 I was in the subway station waiting for a train. At 5:20, with what little reception was in the station I felt my phone vibrating and saw that my husband was trying to call me. Since I didnt know what message he was going to leave, I just decided to screw it and go home. If I had gone to his office, I would have had to climb extra stairs because the elevator wasnt working. And since I didnt know what the message was, I didnt know if I was going to have to be sitting there waiting. The subways were very slow last night and I didnt get out of the station to wait for the bus until 6:38 pm. I didnt have a voice mail message but I figured I would call my husband on my walk home after I got off the bus.
He said to me, "Why didnt you call me back?"
I said "When?"
He said "Before you went to go pick up our son."
I said "Because you said you would get back to me and since you didnt, I just assumed you werent able to make the meeting earlier."
He started to get pissy so I said I would talk to him when he got home. I got home at around 7:05 and had our son fed and in bed by 7:20. About 40 minutes later my husband came home.
Again he said to me "I dont understand why you didnt call me if you didnt hear from me. I was busy and I even cancelled another meeting and I tried to make the meeting earlier but it was very important that we have the 5:30 meeting. Why didnt you call me?"
I said "I told you why. I figured that since you didnt call me before you knew I was going to leave to pick up our son that it meant you werent able to make any arrangements and I couldnt sit and wait (as I told you) until 6:30 for you to be ready to go."
He said "If you are in pain then it is all your fault. Dont blame me for your pain if you couldnt even call me to find out about the meeting. You called me and expected me to drop everything and leave early. I cant just do that. Anyway, do you want to know what the meeting was about?"
I said "No, I'm really not interested."
So he said "Fine" and I am sure a few other choice things but I dont recall and walked away.
Last night my sister came over because she is spending Shabbos. Today we are having a loveseat delivered so she is staying home to be there for the delivery.
So this morning at 7 am (we leave at 7:30 every day and 7 am is when I start to get my son ready) my husband says to me "Is your sister watching the baby today?"
I said "No, she has to study for a midterm and only slept over last night so she could be here for the delivery so we didnt have to miss work. She cant be expected to watch our son as well. It isnt something that was even discussed."
So he said "What about your back? So now you have to shlep our son home?"
OK, to me this whole thing, looking back, is weird. Why is it that it seems like he thinks my sister has more of a responsibility to help with the shlepping of my son than he has? Why is it that it seems like that to me at all? I give up. Until such time as I am literaly paralyzed or absolutely cant get out of bed, I will not ask my husband for any help. He has had his chance to take initiative and he hasnt done squat. Instead, it seems to me like everyone is obligated to offer to help me except for him. When it comes to him, I have to practically beg for help and even then, I get rejected.
Forget it. I give up!
And one more thing. Therapy? HA HA. The therapist called last week with dates and since my husband doesnt want my sister to babysit (because she will know where we are going and because he doesnt want our son to be up and out in the city so late at night) he wanted only possible times for an appointment on a Sunday. I told him that if he wants to have an appointment on a Sunday he will have to find a babysitter. I'm still waiting. What is the point though?
Yesterday, as many of you had read, my coworker was unable to take me home. When I called him about coming over, he said he would have a meeting at 5:30 with his boss and it was to last an hour. He said he would find out if it could be made earlier. By 5 pm, when I needed to go pick up my son, I hadnt heard from my husband so I assumed he wasnt able to make the meeting earlier. By 5:15 I was in the subway station waiting for a train. At 5:20, with what little reception was in the station I felt my phone vibrating and saw that my husband was trying to call me. Since I didnt know what message he was going to leave, I just decided to screw it and go home. If I had gone to his office, I would have had to climb extra stairs because the elevator wasnt working. And since I didnt know what the message was, I didnt know if I was going to have to be sitting there waiting. The subways were very slow last night and I didnt get out of the station to wait for the bus until 6:38 pm. I didnt have a voice mail message but I figured I would call my husband on my walk home after I got off the bus.
He said to me, "Why didnt you call me back?"
I said "When?"
He said "Before you went to go pick up our son."
I said "Because you said you would get back to me and since you didnt, I just assumed you werent able to make the meeting earlier."
He started to get pissy so I said I would talk to him when he got home. I got home at around 7:05 and had our son fed and in bed by 7:20. About 40 minutes later my husband came home.
Again he said to me "I dont understand why you didnt call me if you didnt hear from me. I was busy and I even cancelled another meeting and I tried to make the meeting earlier but it was very important that we have the 5:30 meeting. Why didnt you call me?"
I said "I told you why. I figured that since you didnt call me before you knew I was going to leave to pick up our son that it meant you werent able to make any arrangements and I couldnt sit and wait (as I told you) until 6:30 for you to be ready to go."
He said "If you are in pain then it is all your fault. Dont blame me for your pain if you couldnt even call me to find out about the meeting. You called me and expected me to drop everything and leave early. I cant just do that. Anyway, do you want to know what the meeting was about?"
I said "No, I'm really not interested."
So he said "Fine" and I am sure a few other choice things but I dont recall and walked away.
Last night my sister came over because she is spending Shabbos. Today we are having a loveseat delivered so she is staying home to be there for the delivery.
So this morning at 7 am (we leave at 7:30 every day and 7 am is when I start to get my son ready) my husband says to me "Is your sister watching the baby today?"
I said "No, she has to study for a midterm and only slept over last night so she could be here for the delivery so we didnt have to miss work. She cant be expected to watch our son as well. It isnt something that was even discussed."
So he said "What about your back? So now you have to shlep our son home?"
OK, to me this whole thing, looking back, is weird. Why is it that it seems like he thinks my sister has more of a responsibility to help with the shlepping of my son than he has? Why is it that it seems like that to me at all? I give up. Until such time as I am literaly paralyzed or absolutely cant get out of bed, I will not ask my husband for any help. He has had his chance to take initiative and he hasnt done squat. Instead, it seems to me like everyone is obligated to offer to help me except for him. When it comes to him, I have to practically beg for help and even then, I get rejected.
Forget it. I give up!
And one more thing. Therapy? HA HA. The therapist called last week with dates and since my husband doesnt want my sister to babysit (because she will know where we are going and because he doesnt want our son to be up and out in the city so late at night) he wanted only possible times for an appointment on a Sunday. I told him that if he wants to have an appointment on a Sunday he will have to find a babysitter. I'm still waiting. What is the point though?
posted by energynorm at
9:25 AM
4 Comments:
LMAO! I'm sure that yy and my son would get along fabulously.
I guess I just am not the kind of woman that other people's wives are. I have never insisted on him doing something. I never really insist on anyone doing anything. That isnt in my nature. I dont know how I have the right to insist that someone do something.
By
energynorm, at 12:16 PM
after carefuly reading what you wrote up it seems like your husband isnt the only one at fault here i know how he feels too i would like to email you
email me @ genoflorio@yahoo.com and i will reply as soon as possible
By
Y.Y., at 1:27 PM
sahm4yrs, I think I must have changed. Back when my husband and I were first married, I maybe would have insisted on certain things. Now, I just am in fear of his reaction. Again, not because I think he will beat me up or anything but more because I hate making people angry and he gets angry at me so easily. When he does that he can be very verbally mean and I just cant handle that.
By
energynorm, at 9:56 AM
normaljew, let me tell you a little story. When I was in High School, our college guidance counselor told us that we should apply to at least 3 colleges. One that we were sure we wouldnt get into, one we were sure we would get into and one that we werent sure either way. I applied to four colleges (2 that I wasnt sure either way) and hoped against hope that only one would accept me so that I would not have to make a decision. In the end they all accepted me and I had to choose. I hate making choices. As miserable as I am, taking that plunge to make a decision is even worse.
On a totally separate note, you should ALL see 'Prime'. I just saw it in the theater and it was really good.
By
energynorm, at 10:56 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home