How lucky is that doggie in the window?
Tonight my husband told me I am lucky. Why, you might ask, would he say that? Even more importantly, is he right?
Well, it goes like this. The day started off quite all right. Got to work on time (even early) and we both did what we have to do at our respective jobs. After work, I picked up my son from daycare, and as I do most days, I went with him and my sister for a walk to while away the time until my husband could pick us up. It turns out that that the Gymboree that my son goes to had an “open night” and so we went there for a half hour or so.
After, we headed to a nearby bagel eatery and sat down to eat, at which point I called my husband and told him “We got here at 6:15 (it was 6:30 at the time) and so if you want to leave work late to pick us up you can since we are eating now. Also, tell me what you want so I can get something for you before we leave.”
He said “Actually, that is good because I have something I need to work on so I would like to leave a little late anyway.”
I said “OK, but can you try to make it that you leave around 6:50 or so?”
He said “OK, no problem.”
At 6:57 I called him to ask what he would like to order since he hadn’t told me and he gave me his order. He said “I will be leaving the office in about 5 minutes.”
I said “Please call me when you are at the garage getting the car so I have an idea of where to tell you we are since we are heading to a certain avenue.”
He said “OK” and we said “Good bye.”
Now, if you are still following my anal time keeping, he should have called me at around 7:05/7:10 to say he either is in the garage getting the car or GOT the car and is on his way. Mind you, his office is across the street from the garage.
Anyway, he called at 7:29 saying “I just left the garage. Where are you now?”
I said “We are about 15 blocks south of where the bagel place is, where are you?”
Well, he finally showed up and we got in the car and were going on our (not so) merry way when he says to me “I am going to pick up my cousin at the airport on Sunday at 9 AM.”
I should preface this by saying that the past two Sundays that we had therapy, he went alone since things were ok with us and I didn’t think I needed to go but he wanted to go for himself. It was something we discussed both times and agreed upon. This Sunday happened to be a Sunday I wanted (or should I say needed?) to go, so I was kind of thrown for a loop that he would schedule to pick his cousin up at the time of the appointment.
Anyway, he totally didn’t want to get into it in the car, so I waited until we were at home and my son in bed before I brought it up again. First though, I brought up the fact that he was late. What a mistake. He went totally nutso from the get-go. Going on and on about how I have to maybe see the therapist on my own because obviously I have a problem if I cant handle him being late every once in a while. I told him I just cant rely on him and he said he wasn’t so late. I told him that he was late, and if it is 20 minutes or an hour, if he tells me he is leaving in 5 min and then he doesn’t, he should call. He started telling me how I didn’t have to deal with deadlines and work popping up last minute and that he was at work for 11 hours today etc etc. I said that I had a long day also (to which he replied “Not as long as mine!” Reminded me very much of the folks from my infertility board who like to compare who is suffering more from their infertility. Catch my drift?) I also pointed out that just because I am not a lawyer doesn’t mean that I don’t have deadlines and work popping up and piling up for that matter, but that I don’t bring that stress home with me. And that from the moment we started speaking, he has been ranting and I have been calm. Then he told me how I am lucky that this is all I have to complain about because other marriages have worse problems.
Anyway, we wont get into that any more at the moment. I also brought up the whole canceling therapy thing. He said that he will take care of it but I said I still want to go. He said that I haven’t gone in weeks now. Which, technically, is true. Three weeks ago he went alone. Two weeks ago neither of us went because my sister got married. Last week he went alone. But as I mentioned above, each time he went alone we discussed it. I said this time I want to go and we can go in the evening. He said no we cant, because he has a hard time finding parking. I said so we will take the train. He said no because he doesn’t want to. That he will call and see if there is an evening appointment and will get back to me.
Incidentally, for those who are loyal readers, this isn’t the first time he has said no to me point blank without room for discussion. On Sunday we were in Costco and I told him I would like to get a laptop because I want to get wireless internet (which I found out only costs in the purchase of a wireless router – who knew?) and he said no. Point blank, folks. Just like that. The gods have spoken in the form of my husband and a law has been laid down and there is simply no room for discussion. Sucks for me, right? Anyway, in a few months I will have to take off 8 days from work to watch my son (no hardship, I assure you) as his daycare will have winter break and to hire a babysitter will cost us $720. Well, let me assure you that the savings will be going towards my laptop. Yes sir. No one is going to tell me how to spend my money, especially after we got him a GPS since he cant find his way out of a damn box with a map and a high tech fancy shmancy digital camera since the one we had wasn’t good enough for him. Oh, and by the way, according to him the new camera was my idea. I can assure you that the digital camcorder we ALSO got wasn’t my idea. Damn straight the laptop is, and it WILL be mine.
Well, I am sure I have bored you enough for one day. Comments, as always, are welcome. To paraphrase Bill O’Reiley, feel free to opine.
Well, it goes like this. The day started off quite all right. Got to work on time (even early) and we both did what we have to do at our respective jobs. After work, I picked up my son from daycare, and as I do most days, I went with him and my sister for a walk to while away the time until my husband could pick us up. It turns out that that the Gymboree that my son goes to had an “open night” and so we went there for a half hour or so.
After, we headed to a nearby bagel eatery and sat down to eat, at which point I called my husband and told him “We got here at 6:15 (it was 6:30 at the time) and so if you want to leave work late to pick us up you can since we are eating now. Also, tell me what you want so I can get something for you before we leave.”
He said “Actually, that is good because I have something I need to work on so I would like to leave a little late anyway.”
I said “OK, but can you try to make it that you leave around 6:50 or so?”
He said “OK, no problem.”
At 6:57 I called him to ask what he would like to order since he hadn’t told me and he gave me his order. He said “I will be leaving the office in about 5 minutes.”
I said “Please call me when you are at the garage getting the car so I have an idea of where to tell you we are since we are heading to a certain avenue.”
He said “OK” and we said “Good bye.”
Now, if you are still following my anal time keeping, he should have called me at around 7:05/7:10 to say he either is in the garage getting the car or GOT the car and is on his way. Mind you, his office is across the street from the garage.
Anyway, he called at 7:29 saying “I just left the garage. Where are you now?”
I said “We are about 15 blocks south of where the bagel place is, where are you?”
Well, he finally showed up and we got in the car and were going on our (not so) merry way when he says to me “I am going to pick up my cousin at the airport on Sunday at 9 AM.”
I should preface this by saying that the past two Sundays that we had therapy, he went alone since things were ok with us and I didn’t think I needed to go but he wanted to go for himself. It was something we discussed both times and agreed upon. This Sunday happened to be a Sunday I wanted (or should I say needed?) to go, so I was kind of thrown for a loop that he would schedule to pick his cousin up at the time of the appointment.
Anyway, he totally didn’t want to get into it in the car, so I waited until we were at home and my son in bed before I brought it up again. First though, I brought up the fact that he was late. What a mistake. He went totally nutso from the get-go. Going on and on about how I have to maybe see the therapist on my own because obviously I have a problem if I cant handle him being late every once in a while. I told him I just cant rely on him and he said he wasn’t so late. I told him that he was late, and if it is 20 minutes or an hour, if he tells me he is leaving in 5 min and then he doesn’t, he should call. He started telling me how I didn’t have to deal with deadlines and work popping up last minute and that he was at work for 11 hours today etc etc. I said that I had a long day also (to which he replied “Not as long as mine!” Reminded me very much of the folks from my infertility board who like to compare who is suffering more from their infertility. Catch my drift?) I also pointed out that just because I am not a lawyer doesn’t mean that I don’t have deadlines and work popping up and piling up for that matter, but that I don’t bring that stress home with me. And that from the moment we started speaking, he has been ranting and I have been calm. Then he told me how I am lucky that this is all I have to complain about because other marriages have worse problems.
Anyway, we wont get into that any more at the moment. I also brought up the whole canceling therapy thing. He said that he will take care of it but I said I still want to go. He said that I haven’t gone in weeks now. Which, technically, is true. Three weeks ago he went alone. Two weeks ago neither of us went because my sister got married. Last week he went alone. But as I mentioned above, each time he went alone we discussed it. I said this time I want to go and we can go in the evening. He said no we cant, because he has a hard time finding parking. I said so we will take the train. He said no because he doesn’t want to. That he will call and see if there is an evening appointment and will get back to me.
Incidentally, for those who are loyal readers, this isn’t the first time he has said no to me point blank without room for discussion. On Sunday we were in Costco and I told him I would like to get a laptop because I want to get wireless internet (which I found out only costs in the purchase of a wireless router – who knew?) and he said no. Point blank, folks. Just like that. The gods have spoken in the form of my husband and a law has been laid down and there is simply no room for discussion. Sucks for me, right? Anyway, in a few months I will have to take off 8 days from work to watch my son (no hardship, I assure you) as his daycare will have winter break and to hire a babysitter will cost us $720. Well, let me assure you that the savings will be going towards my laptop. Yes sir. No one is going to tell me how to spend my money, especially after we got him a GPS since he cant find his way out of a damn box with a map and a high tech fancy shmancy digital camera since the one we had wasn’t good enough for him. Oh, and by the way, according to him the new camera was my idea. I can assure you that the digital camcorder we ALSO got wasn’t my idea. Damn straight the laptop is, and it WILL be mine.
Well, I am sure I have bored you enough for one day. Comments, as always, are welcome. To paraphrase Bill O’Reiley, feel free to opine.
posted by energynorm at
11:08 PM
4 Comments:
Talking Points:
1. your husband asked if you were lucky and you ask us, your readers if he is right.
2. he constantly runs later and later when you folks are waiting for him, which apparently drives you crazy because you have a child who should be home, and you would also like to get home after a long day at work.
3.your husband has trouble finding his way out of a box without using a map.
4.the democrats...oh wait, you didn't mention them.
first of all, i can totally relate in terms of the time thing. in my marriage, that might be the only thing that i'm anal about, i just hate when "one minute" turns into an hour, etc. it drives me nuts. but then, on the other hand, he's a lawyer and lawyers keep insane hours. i was going to take the LSATs in the beginning of my marriage, and then realized that i'd never be able to raise a family if i became a lawyer. we have a family friend who is a lawyer with grown children, and while he's a wonderful dad and all, he did unfortunately have to spend a lot of time in the office.
as for whether or not you're lucky, well, that's relative. i mean, baruch hashem, he's a good provider, and has been trying to work things out in your marriage. you have to admit, you've come a long way from when you first started this blog. in many ways, yes, you are extremely lucky. does that mean that you should put up with certain aspects of your marriage that you find disturbing? well, that's entirely up to you. do you feel lucky? put in the right perspective, a single mom on welfare living in a trailer in the middle of kansas is lucky. at least she's not living in a war zone, right? ;D
as for him not being able to find his way out of a box without a gps, well, i can't comment there. but it was a great one-liner.
hang in there, you folks have really,really come a long way from when i first started reading. and remember, even the best, most amazing marriages have their share of problems. that's what happens when you live together day in, day out. it's normal. unfortunately, a lot of people will have you believe otherwise. again, i think you're doing great.
((((((((((hugs)))))))))
bec
By
bec, at 8:03 AM
What ended up happening w/the kidney? Thinking of you.
By
Stacey, at 10:39 AM
you can use my lapdance i mean lap top.
By
thekvetcher, at 2:37 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
Stacey, at 1:03 AM
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